Wednesday, April 18, 2012


Today's early morning hours have me finishing up a few work things, cramming a few more things into my suitcase and shortly, turning on my out of office for my work email.  We are headed to Coachella!
We sat out last year since we weren't ready to leave the wee one just yet.  I've lost count of how many Coachella's we've been too...almost all of them at this point.  It's become kind of a springtime tradition for us and a lot of the bands playing we get a chance to book in the Midwest so it's nice to see everyone's reactions to them at a big festival like this.
We both could use this quick vacation to soak up some sun, some music and most of all to just enjoy getting out of town for a little bit.  I will miss my munchkin dearly, but he will have a vacation of his own with his cousins.  Have a great rest of the week and weekend!

Friday, April 6, 2012

Unanswered Questions

I've been thinking about adoption a lot lately.  Our story, his I want to do so much more to help the orphan situation worldwide and raise awareness.  When I find moments to slow my day down and think, I always come back to this topic.  It pulls me.  It breaks me, but it inspires me to do something.
I have to admit, I have gotten caught up in life and haven't pursued my interest and connection to adoption like I wanted.    Like I thought I strongly would.  I'm disappointed in myself.  Sure, we talk to G about his story all the time, but as he is becoming more aware of his surroundings I want to really focus on it.   22 months ago, we got home and hit the ground running.  Life became more about trying to be a good mother to a child in general that I didn't spend as much time as I should concerned about the fact he is adopted. That the fact is adopted from a country all the way around the world.   That is changing now.  He is becoming more independent.  As I watch him and his curiosity develop, I'm brought back to who does he look like?  What will he think of all of this?  How badly I want to take him back there and let him see.  See it all.  The streets, the pastures, the people, the smells.   How I want to have conversations that he understands so I can ask him if I'm doing this right.
And, then there is her...I have dreams of her.  A lot of them right now.  Little, tiny her.  The other night I was doing her hair.  Little curls, twisting and conditioning them with love.  Oh, how I love to do his hair so this is where that dream came from.   I know we are not ready, but sometimes I don't want that to matter.   It's starting to tug on me.  Just like it did for him.  I had a sense of urgency with him.   Something was wrong in my heart and I rushed to get through the paperwork.  I had no idea why I was in such a big rush (as I knew this was not something that could be rushed) until I saw him and knew why I was here.  To mother him.  For now, she might just appear in my dreams.  He did.

Here we are in Addis Ababa in our hotel room.  The first time I played music for Gadisa.  Bob Marley.  I don't know if it was the Iphone or the music itself that he was intrigued by.  He is a fan of both now!  

I made this bracelet for him months before we even met him.  It sat waiting on my dresser for his little arm.  I wore a matching Ethiopia necklace the whole time we waited for him...and I still wear it sometimes.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Much Needed

Today has been what I hope more days are like...
Morning tea in my hammock porch swing. Just drifting back and forth.
Boys sleeping in on a Tuesday after a late night.
A trip to the garden & nursery that I have lived near for 7 years and never ventured into. I don't know why because I loved my visit there!
Forcing myself to only check work email just a few times because I. do. not. work. on. Tuesdays. Perhaps, I can limit this even more. A work in progress.
Enjoying the company of my hubby who took the day off and loving the look of peace on his face.
Getting my hands into some dirt and turning an ugly corner into green loveliness.
Such a great, much needed day.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

The Madness of March

March scurried through our lives a little too fast for comfort.  We've been caught up in the March Madness of college basketball for most of the month.  I've personally been caught up in life madness this month that is making me question how I got to this complicated life and how to simplify it.
Finding the balance between work and home life has become daunting, once again.  Like it always becomes.    Our rushed lives have cornered me into frustration and the only thing that will change that is me.  I am my own worst enemy.  I pile on everything and work my hardest to make it just right.   It's gotta stop.  I wear myself down.  I get sick all the time and I can barely sleep 4 straight hours anymore.  As far as sleeping through the night, that's a miracle.  So, all of these feelings of being overwhelmed this month made me make some moves at work to take things off my plate.  I technically work part time hours so I can be home 2 days a week with G, but my work load is full time for sure.  Kind of what happens when you own a company.   I'm just going to have let some things go and change my perspective on what I expect from myself.  If things aren't ideal, that's just going to have to be okay.  GO.WITH.THE.FLOW. That for me, is harder said than done, but it sounds absolutely amazing!  It feels good to see the problem at least and I'm looking forward to living the changes that will occur in April.
On a lighter note,  KU is playing in the National Championship game tomorrow night!!!!  I can hardly believe we made it to this point!  We went to the Championship game in San Antonio when we won in 2008, but parenthood has us spending our celebrations here in Lawrence this time.  It's okay.  It's fun to be where the best party is at!  Check out the photos from downtown Lawrence.  50,000 people!!
This town loves their basketball!  Rock Chalk Jayhawks!

The 1912 Jayhawk.  My favorite one!
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