I've come to the conclusion that I am a big heap of indecisive, fast paced, creative mess of a gal. There is so much I want to do right now that it's impossible to fit it all into my life at this moment. I want to be able to slow down and appreciate each moment, which is a Buddhist daily goal I try hard to grasp.
I always hated the question of "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Well, I want to be a million things. Why do I have to choose one? And, in the moments of today I am more than one. I am more than two. I am more than three. My curiosity and interests get the best of me and as much as I try to sit peacefully for a moment, my mind races full speed ahead of ideas and what ifs. Nag, nag, nag. A piece of writing that is cramped in my head that I must get out to give space to something else to develop. The 15 things that are wrong with the current event I'm promoting and what I need to do to fix them. Ideas of new activities I can do with my son. People I need to sit down and have a drink with (and I have been making that happen, which I love!). The yoga mat I ran to a month or so ago has gotten dusty in the corner and I'm kicking myself for that. I did feel so much more centered during those weeks of commitment.
Breathe. Chill out. Not all of it may ever get done, or develop into something great.
I want to welcome hot, slow summer days that await ahead. I guess for myself that is going to be a challenge to get to, but definitely worth trying.
I need to follow the advice of the ol' Fortune Cookie wisdom that I recently received...
