2 years ago today we walked into an orphanage and met our son. We walked out never to be the same...
Happy Gotcha Day, Oliver Gadisa Lyric!
Showing posts with label Ethiopia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ethiopia. Show all posts
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Unanswered Questions
I've been thinking about adoption a lot lately. Our story, his story...how I want to do so much more to help the orphan situation worldwide and raise awareness. When I find moments to slow my day down and think, I always come back to this topic. It pulls me. It breaks me, but it inspires me to do something.
I have to admit, I have gotten caught up in life and haven't pursued my interest and connection to adoption like I wanted. Like I thought I strongly would. I'm disappointed in myself. Sure, we talk to G about his story all the time, but as he is becoming more aware of his surroundings I want to really focus on it. 22 months ago, we got home and hit the ground running. Life became more about trying to be a good mother to a child in general that I didn't spend as much time as I should concerned about the fact he is adopted. That the fact is adopted from a country all the way around the world. That is changing now. He is becoming more independent. As I watch him and his curiosity develop, I'm brought back to who does he look like? What will he think of all of this? How badly I want to take him back there and let him see. See it all. The streets, the pastures, the people, the smells. How I want to have conversations that he understands so I can ask him if I'm doing this right.
And, then there is her...I have dreams of her. A lot of them right now. Little, tiny her. The other night I was doing her hair. Little curls, twisting and conditioning them with love. Oh, how I love to do his hair so this is where that dream came from. I know we are not ready, but sometimes I don't want that to matter. It's starting to tug on me. Just like it did for him. I had a sense of urgency with him. Something was wrong in my heart and I rushed to get through the paperwork. I had no idea why I was in such a big rush (as I knew this was not something that could be rushed) until I saw him and knew why I was here. To mother him. For now, she might just appear in my dreams. He did.
I made this bracelet for him months before we even met him. It sat waiting on my dresser for his little arm. I wore a matching Ethiopia necklace the whole time we waited for him...and I still wear it sometimes.
I have to admit, I have gotten caught up in life and haven't pursued my interest and connection to adoption like I wanted. Like I thought I strongly would. I'm disappointed in myself. Sure, we talk to G about his story all the time, but as he is becoming more aware of his surroundings I want to really focus on it. 22 months ago, we got home and hit the ground running. Life became more about trying to be a good mother to a child in general that I didn't spend as much time as I should concerned about the fact he is adopted. That the fact is adopted from a country all the way around the world. That is changing now. He is becoming more independent. As I watch him and his curiosity develop, I'm brought back to who does he look like? What will he think of all of this? How badly I want to take him back there and let him see. See it all. The streets, the pastures, the people, the smells. How I want to have conversations that he understands so I can ask him if I'm doing this right.
And, then there is her...I have dreams of her. A lot of them right now. Little, tiny her. The other night I was doing her hair. Little curls, twisting and conditioning them with love. Oh, how I love to do his hair so this is where that dream came from. I know we are not ready, but sometimes I don't want that to matter. It's starting to tug on me. Just like it did for him. I had a sense of urgency with him. Something was wrong in my heart and I rushed to get through the paperwork. I had no idea why I was in such a big rush (as I knew this was not something that could be rushed) until I saw him and knew why I was here. To mother him. For now, she might just appear in my dreams. He did.
Here we are in Addis Ababa in our hotel room. The first time I played music for Gadisa. Bob Marley. I don't know if it was the Iphone or the music itself that he was intrigued by. He is a fan of both now!
I made this bracelet for him months before we even met him. It sat waiting on my dresser for his little arm. I wore a matching Ethiopia necklace the whole time we waited for him...and I still wear it sometimes.
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